Making the choice to heal

How true is this?

When you sit down and truly reflect on the traumas you’ve gone through, how many did you choose? I know I didn’t choose my traumas. But it doesn’t mean I don’t continue to honour that part of my story because it truly was the catalyst to changing my entire life.

Before my experiences, I was a different person. I was too busy trying to be what others wanted me to be. A people pleaser? Absolutely. Happy? Not even close.

How many times have we heard that trauma changes you? More than I can count that’s for sure. But you know what? It took going through that experience for me to really understand what that meant. Trauma forces you into a hole that takes a whole lot of mess to dig out of. And the big T’s? Well those take time, and a whole lot of strength to dig out of those.

But that doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in it. You can choose to live in your trauma or live with your trauma. Because its YOUR experience. It happened to you. It’s not easy and its definitely not pretty but you CAN make the choice.

There are days when I reflect back on the year I was suddenly alone and I wonder if staying stuck would have been easier. I mean it was predictable which was comforting… All I had to do was wake up, keep tiny humans alive, go to sleep, and keep breathing.

Do you ever think staying stuck is easier than taking steps to move forward? I get it — really I do! But is that really living?

It’s a question I spent several years trying to answer… For me it wasn’t living. Surviving wasn’t making me happy and it certainly wasn’t making my children happy. So I made the choice. I chose to heal. I still make that choice every single day. Because my big T’s are not going away. Ever. Grief stays with you but you can decide how much space it takes up.

Don’t get me wrong, this healing shit… It’s hard and some days it’s ugly.

It takes unimaginable strength.

But damn, it is beautiful on the other side!

So how do you transform your trauma into triumph? Simple. Make the Choice to Heal. That’s it! Whether you are going through it now or still in survival mode, please know that you have a strength inside of you that is insurmountable. I believe in you and I believe you have what it takes to make the choice!